In recent years, there has been a growing movement toward green technology, with one of the main focuses on increasing the fuel efficiency of cars.

The primary objective is to create a car that gets roughly 435,000,000 miles per gallon on nothing but coffee grounds and sunshine. The reason for this being that oil is a nonrenewable resource that will someday dry up, rendering us nothing more than Neanderthals with better hygiene and public access cable. However, the conservation of oil is small potatoes compared to another advantage of increased fuel efficiency: fewer fillups.

Picture this grim scenario: You've been out on the highway looking for adventure for what feels like some days now, your gas gauge is reading “empty,” and you really have to take a leak when you happen upon a vehicular fueling facility known as a “gas station.” Your immediate reaction would be something like “Yes! Now I can relieve myself, fuel my gas-swilling money pit, and pick up some delicious off-brand snacks all in one convenient location.” This feeling of elation, however, would be swiftly replaced by the realization “Oh my God, that means I have to GO INSIDE!”

Gas stations are places of questionable integrity overseen by greasy, toothless parolees named Mike, who are nearly as likely to stab you as to give you your change. Oil companies continue to provide these stations with fuel because they know we need it and care nothing for our personal safety. The restrooms of such stations are home to roaches the size of cattle and likely contain diseases yet unknown to science. In addition, gas stations continue to be the frequent target of armed robberies due to their lack of security, and vendettas against Mike for people he has previously stabbed. You could be standing at the register handing Mike $34.50 for a box of Twinkies and a cola, while smiling awkwardly and trying to avoid staring at all his tattoos and piercings, when a couple of men dressed in black with ski masks come bursting through the door.

They would likely point some sort of automatic weapons into the air, firing randomly at the precious merchandise while kindly advising you to get on the ground. Without stopping to think why the two men would wear black to commit a robbery in broad daylight, and gripped by terror, you would leap behind the counter, fearing for your life. As they rummage through the cash register, you would slowly regain your wits, only to realize you had just jumped behind the counter with Mike and were probably safer taking your chances with the armed robbers. Just as you are about to scream, Mike covers your mouth and quiets you. As you fear he is about to break your neck, he explains that he has a plan that he “learned while I was in prison.”

At this point, having nothing better to do on a Tuesday, police helicopters will have begun to encircle the gas station, and a live broadcast will be beamed to the national news, which has recently taken an interest in gas station violence in order to promote an upcoming documentary. It will be at this point that you realize you are trapped in a gas station formulating a plan with a released criminal in order to stop a pair of petty thieves. You can only hope your loved ones aren't watching Channel 4.

It is for reasons such as these that improving fuel efficiency through the use of green technology has become such a major issue. With any luck, we may one day be able to eliminate gas stations altogether, along with that lingering unseemly feeling that visiting them leaves behind.